CALIFORNIA PROP H8

We’re proud to publish the following article by freelance writer, Wendy Andary.  Wendy has recently specialized in articles about travel, and has been published in Instinct magazine — she was one of their Featured Contributors for April’s Green Issue.   Wendy has done Public Relations writing for the California Democratic Party and plans to do more soon in her role as a community activist.  Wendy lives at the beach with her close-knit family, loves animals and wine, and stays busy with her writing, community, and loving circle of friends.

 
WHAT A STATE OF MIND by Guest Contributor Wendy Andary

You’d think having a California address is enough of a calling card for most people. You know, the card that announces to the rest of the country:

“Hi. I’m overpaying for everything because I’m chasing that iconic, golden dream. I have an affinity for surfing and skiing on the same day and feel a little smug that living here allows me do just that. I drive a Hybrid AND recycle AND compost and have been doing so since WAY before it was cool. I relish the fact that the Pacific Ocean, the Redwood forests, Silicon Valley, Hollywood and Bohemia all call this chunk of land their home and quite often call each other neighbor. And please quit reminding me that my state’s broke because that irony is never lost on me, especially when I am paying my outlandishly high taxes. Still, I’d rather live here than anywhere else. And oh yeah, did I mention that EVERYONE here is a die hard liberal, follows the road less traveled and is tolerant of all sorts of lifestyles because that’s just the kind of state California happens to be?”

Yes, I admit it sounded pretty convincing up until that last sentence. And until recently, a good many of us Californians actually believed our state walked that walk. But that‘s where reality did a number on us and a little thing called Prop 8 reared it’s ugly head. Seems we may need to give those last few accolades of tolerance to states we too often dismiss because we view them as “not nearly as hip as their coastal cousins.”

So, exactly what does it say to the world when a state like Iowa takes a stand for civil rights and votes NO to legalizing bigotry and yes to gay marriage? A state like Iowa that proudly relishes the imagery it evokes in most of our minds  (Main Street USA, family farms and small town America at it’s finest) was also proud to stand up and tell the rest of the country that being gay and getting married were not mutually exclusive as far as they were concerned. And so as little city halls all over the heartland filled up with same-sex couples ready to exchange nuptials, we Californians watched helplessly as the campaign to overturn gay marriage here raged on into an embarrassing victory. No amount of love, commitment, protest or reason could soften the blow that every gay couple now feels when they want to get married here. THEY DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT. And why? Because a bunch of people took it upon themselves to decide who should have rights and who shouldn’t. Hello Jim Crow. Meet your cousin, Proposition 8.

But who is truly to blame for this assault on equal rights? Certainly many of us stood up and fought against Prop 8. (Or “Prop H8” as it widely referred to in our Lefty circles). The way I see it, nowhere is the stench of hypocrisy more palpable than in the offices of our elected lawmakers. You know the ones who spout off about gay marriage being the poison dagger that will kill the otherwise perfect institution of marriage. Then, of course after those speeches are done and their soapbox is put away, those same lawmakers go out and cheat on their wives with:

 A. A stripper

B. Their long time mistress

C. Their male intern

D. A prominent televangelist

E. All of the above

Where then is the outcry from their “marriage is between a man and a woman only“-loving followers? From those who say that they “Don’t mind gays but just don’t want their kids to be exposed to THAT lifestyle. You know, because it could confuse them. “Where are the picket signs telling these politico-charlatans that what THEY have done is the true assault on the sanctity of marriage? Where are the gasps and groans when someone mentions the idea of a “starter marriage” as they head to divorce court? And where is the outrage when marriage is nothing more than a paparazzi-laden mockery at a drive through casino/ wedding chapel where a drunken evening turns into the “hilarious idea of getting hitched.” (Annulment papers can be filed at same said chapel the next morning, of course).

When it comes down to it, opponents to gay marriage have long argued that if gay couples are allowed to marry that it would, in effect, redefine marriage. Apparently, in their minds, this would be a catastrophic thing. However, when you consider the current divorce rate, the highly publicized mistress-gates that keep popping up and the plethora of other ills that seem to plague this sacred institution, I submit that marriage could stand to gain a great deal from some thoughtful re-branding. So here’s what I suggest: How about a Prop 8 for those who think adultery is a natural part of adulthood? How about banning marriage from people who consider domestic violence and domestic bliss one and the same? How about giving a litmus test to every engaged couple to ensure that the vows they take to love, honor and respect one another are real and genuine and will last longer than it takes for the ink to dry on their marriage license? Or how about this: no matter where we choose to call home, we can agree to stop treating our friends, neighbors, co-workers and relatives like second class citizens merely based upon whom they have chosen to make a life with. And here’s the kicker…we let them live their lives.

Stripping basic rights from people based upon what they look like, how they worship, where they come from or who they love is never the calling card for success. Anywhere. History has taught us that. History has also taught us that legislating this sort of hate and intolerance will mandate a collective guilt we will all have to share and also explain to our future generations.

~Sponsors of a proposed ballot initiative to make same-sex marriage legal again in California announced on April 12 they failed to collect the requisite signatures to qualify it for the November 2010 ballot.